From Moncton, New Brunswick: Bus Story # 3 from Bill Jarvis

I have four new stories from Bill Jarvis, a retired bus driver from Moncton, New Brunswick. All four are about drivers’ experiences crossing the Canadian border from the United States. Two of them deal with riders who ignore instructions. I don’t know if this is proof that Canadians and Americans are united by a common human nature, or, as my friends from Vancouver fear, that Canadians are suffering culture creep from our side of the border. In any case, here is a cautionary tale from Mr. Jarvis:


My friend, Verlie, was the manager of a large bowling centre in Halifax, Nova Scotia. Several times each year, she would take members of their seniors’ bowling league on bus trips to visit other centres. On one occasion, a multi-day trip extended as far as Connecticut.

Verlie had told the bowlers more than once what purchases they were permitted to bring back to Canada duty free. Among other things, a maximum of 1.14 litres (40 ounces) of liquor and 200 cigarettes per person were allowed. Very heavy taxes and duties would apply to any amount excess amount.

The last day of their trip involved driving from Portland, Maine to Halifax, Nova Scotia. That was a trip of about 1,000 km (620 miles), with about 11 hours actual driving time. Add a routine stop at the border and a couple of meal stops, and the bus driver would have a day almost equal to the maximum hours he was permitted by law to be on the road. Exceeding the limit could result in the driver being fined and placed off-duty.

Verlie told me later that, in spite of her instructions, she and the bus driver probably were the only people on the bus who did not have two bottles of liquor.

Customs officers are not stupid. They are well-trained professionals who carry out an important and potentially dangerous job in a courteous and efficient manner. Just don’t try to mess around with them.

When the bus crossed from Houlton, Maine to Woodstock Road, New Brunswick, it did not take long for the Canada Customs officers to realize there was excess liquor on board. Then, the bus was thoroughly searched, both the passenger and luggage compartments. Every passenger’s luggage was thoroughly searched. Much paper work was involved. What should have been a 15 minute border crossing took four hours.

The bus driver would have to add notes to his log book to explain his excess time. The passengers had a trip lasting many hours longer than expected. Later each passenger received a substantial invoice from the Canada Revenue Agency for duty and taxes on his/her liquor, plus presumably a fine if he/she had not declared the excess liquor as soon as reaching the border.

From Surrey, UK: “The Melodic Chatter of Two Old Geezers on a Bus”

Man 2: how you diddlin?


Man 1: fiddlin diddlin ha ha.


2: did you try that medicine.


1: ye ha ha. Not bad. Much better. 75% not 100%.


(Read the whole conversation here.)

From Seattle: post on Seattle Reddit by markait

Of course, I didn't believe a word of it at the time. Why would a rich guy be on a bus in Capitol Hill? (Read the whole story here.)

From Cincinnati, Chicago, and Long Beach: “Transit love stories: Meeting Cupid on the bus or train,” by Larry Copeland for USA Today

Every day, 12 million people take the train or bus. Sometimes Cupid rides with them, and they meet, fall in love and get married. These are their stories. (Read more here.)

From Oakland: “The Fire on the 57 Bus in Oakland,” by Dashka Slater for The New York Times Magazine

As Sasha slept, three teenage boys laughed and joked nearby. Then one surreptitiously flicked a lighter. The skirt went up in a ball of flame. (Read the whole story here.)